Hello Lonely

If two months ago, anybody would have told me that I would be miserable, lonely, brokenhearted and hurt right now… I’d have laughed them right out of the room. My life was going perfectly,  I was in love with my best friend and we had been discussing marriage and he told me almost every weekend how much I meant to him. We were so happy. We rarely ever fought, and if we did fight it lasted maybe an hour tops.  One weekend in the middle of September, my boyfriend was talking about how he needed to find a place to live for next year and I mentioned, casually, that I was graduating in May and he said “you are? maybe we can get a place together”. I was thrilled and thought everything was going smoothly and awesomely. That night, he held me in his arms and made me promise that I would marry him someday. I said I would.

A week later and my worst nightmares are coming true. He tells me he is unhappy with himself and that another girl had kissed him a few days ago. He proceeded to tell me that he wanted a few weeks to himself. And then a few weeks after that… it was over. I haven’t talked to him since then but my heart is completely lost and so confused. I’ve been hanging out a lot with a girl who used to date him, and they still talk. She asked him this weekend when he was going to talk to me again, and he said he had nothing left to say. Thats fine and dandy, but I have a lot of things left to say! I miss him so much and I know I shouldn’t but I gave him six years of my life. I fought tooth and nail for him and I to be together, yet as soon as a hiccup comes up, he bails. I don’t know what happened or why, but I wish he would tell me. I deserve to know I think. Instead I just feel this empty void as if I am being punished for finally being happy. Every song I hear reminds me of him, everything I do or people say does as well. Everytime my phone rings, I think its him so I had to change the ringer on my phone to something else and give him a special ringer so I would stop getting my hopes up.

If anybody has a time machine… can I borrow it? I need to go back and figure things out.

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Sometimes I Wonder…

So today was the first day of my senior year of college (whoo!) and it lasted for a grand total of one hour and five minutes. During that time, it was basically us listening to the professor tell us about himself. Unfortunately, I had him before so I knew all of it already. Therefore, I spaced out and tried to look like I was paying attention while debating in my head if I wanted to get a haircut or not (I decided to go Friday instead).

After class however I did go to the grocery store and I forgot how many elderly people go to at 9:35am. I was thinking I’d have the store basically to myself with the best produce to choose from. Wrong! Oh my goodness! I’m pretty sure 30% of the people there were just there to wander and had no intentions to buy anything and the other 70% were making sure to take as much aisle space as possible so that I would have to do some fancy maneuvers with my cart in order to get through. I didn’t even need that much stuff. All I bought was frozen pancakes, ravioli, green tea (I love that Lipton’s Diet Green Tea with Citrus.. it is amazing and has killed my want for soda.) and bread. Oh and some chocolate chip cookies for when my sweet tooth monster starts rumbling, I can shut her up. Yes, my sweet tooth monster is a girl. Anyway, it took me 40 minutes to get that stuff and get checked out. I think 10 minutes were spent at the check out because some sweet old lady was cussing out the cashier because the one product (ONE!) she was going to buy cost more then 20 cents. You heard me right. She had a generic brand of whipped cream in a tub (think Cool Whip) and she said that there was a peg on the door that said it was 20 cents. So apparently she came to the store to wander, saw this thing for 20 cents and decided she needed it. Anyway, she was lying and it wasn’t 20 cents, it was a dollar and she was pissed off. Needless to say, she didn’t buy it and there is a peeved old lady somewhere. Grocery store drama.

I’m obviously back now and its 10:30am… I work at 5pm. Oh how glorious to have this time to either nap or do nothing or clean… those are my options and if you know me, you know what I am going to choose and it isn’t option C. haha.

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Another Monday

Good morning everybody! So today, I have been browsing Amazon.com and Ebay.com and various other websites for a new backpack for school. Right now, I am using a messenger style bag from American Eagle which works and all but isn’t in the best of shape. I really want a nice backpack but I only have a year left of school, then I won’t need it anymore. The one backpack I have is being used as luggage for when I go to my boyfriend’s on the weekends. Maybe I should invest in luggage instead?

I’ve been looking at luggage and now that Greg and I are headed up north (well in October) for a wedding, I should probably hurry up on that! But, I suck at looking at luggage. I have no idea what to get!

Well, I don’t know about everybody else but I use wikipedia for everything. EVERYTHING. So on my hunt for luggage I came across the next best thing, ShopWiki! Can you believe it? I swear there are Wiki’s for everything now a days. There is even one for World of Warcraft haha. Anyway, back to ShopWiki. As I stated above, I know nothing about buying luggage. I don’t know what to look for, what kind to buy… I’m pretty darn clueless. However when I saw ShopWiki’s Luggage article, I was pretty darn impressed.

It contains what kinds of luggage to buy, details about luggage, where to buy luggage, carry on policies.. everything. My favorite part is that they describe the different types of baggage available for you so that you aren’t confused by terminology. Its rather useful and as professional as all the other wiki websites that we have all come to love. I wish I would have known about this website sooner.

See! But wait, there is more! haha. They also have information on Bags, Laptop Bags, and Backpacks!! Yes, Backpacks. Which helped me on my other search. I swear they are like my own rescue team sometimes. I hope I am not the only person who really knows absolutely nothing about luggage. Anyway, I hope this helped you as much as it helped me because ShopWiki really is quite fantastic!

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World of Warcraft: Cataclysm

I must be pretty bored if I am spending time posting about the BlizzCon 2009 conference. I am a casual World of Warcraft player, and by casual, I mean… I play maybe an hour every other day and not on the weekends haha. My laptop sucks major butt and can’t play WoW to save its life. Its very choppy.. anyway, I have a lvl 60 Human Warlock named Lyriic.

Being that my character is a Warlock, I was pretty interested to find out what the new changes to the SoulShard system were and I must say… I am super excited! I hate farming SoulShards because they take up to much space in my inventory, and I just found that with the new expansion pack (which won’t be out until late 2010, boo!) SoulShards will no longer be in the inventory!! YES!! They will be like the Death Knight runes which are kept up under the mana bar. Sweetness.

The part that sorta sucks is that while I am still getting familiar with the WoW world and the lands, its all going to change. UGH! They are ripping everything apart thanks to some lovely dragon who causes a catastrophic event to the world of Azeroth, etc. Gay.


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Brand New Start

Creative title, I know but I am saying Hi to everybody, and “world” is the best way to address you, isn’t it? Anyway, my name is Janena (you may call me Nena) and I am a 26 year old female living in the wonderful world of the Midwest.

As previous visitors may realize, I have issues with blogging daily but this is my attempt to change that. If my life is dull, I am going to review something or comment on the news or maybe find a new recipe. But by gosh darn it, I am going to blog! So, in my first attempt to blog, here is my blog: about me.

I am a pretty average person, in my opinion. I work at a fast food restaurant, and I am not loving it. If that wasn’t the biggest hint to where I work, I don’t really know what is! I struggle through the days trying to make sure that I don’t up and quit because, while the money sucks, it is money and I will be pointing out the reason I need money in a paragraph or two. I started working at this place two and a half years ago, and I am still in the same position I was two years ago! Its not an easy job and I don’t care how “low” it is on the totem pole, its hard and its not fun!

My car is a 96 Cavalier that I like to call a piece of junk. It breaks every six months it seems and when it breaks, it never takes a cheap part with it. It only breaks the expensive things. I’m pretty sure I’ve spent close to $3,000 on this car and it isn’t even worth that much. However, because I work at a shitty job with shitty pay, I cannot afford a new car. I can’t really afford these expensive payments on fixes either but its one or the other. I’m pretty sure when I take it in tomorrow, the bill will be well over $300. I can feel it! If its like the last bill, $1030, I will probably dig a hole and bury myself because I will be that upset.

I am in school for graphic design and am currently set to graduate in May! (listen to the hallelujah’s). I have been in school forever! The reason: I am indecisive. Its true. I could not for the life of me decide what I wanted to do with my life. But the funny part, is that I made a complete 360 because I started off as a Graphic Design major, went to English, to Psychology, to Business and now here I am back in graphic design. I don’t even want to start guessing at how much my loans are when I am all said and done (okay I am pretty aware of what they will be thanks to my loan providers) but I am going to be paying them back for quite a while.

Thankfully, keeping me sane, is my boyfriend. We have been together, on and off, for seven years! Why I do not have a shiny diamond on my finger, I am not sure. However, I would rather see him get a shiny new car for himself first. Yes, he needs a car. But that is okay because I love him and he makes 10 x the amount that I do and he can afford to get a new car. I cannot. Hopefully, since he lives an hour away, in a year time that distance will be gone and the stress of having a working vehicle will be less (and my paychecks will be more).

Hmm, another thing that keeps me sane is my cat. I adopted Adobe last October (2008) and am so thankful because he really is the sweetest cat ever. He never misbehaves (okay, rarely) and is very cuddly. I just wish he didn’t shed so much! I need a brand new pet vacuum for the pet hair he sheds because its disgusting and my current vacuum doesn’t do jack squat on it. I’m pretty sure he sheds a cat a day and he isn’t even a longhair! Its a good thing he is cute, eh?

Well, thats about all I can currently say about myself. Hopefully, it wasn’t to much and hopefully it didn’t scare you away! Come back soon because you never know what I will be rambling on about next.

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