Happy Holidays!

As I sit here and watch The Nightmare Before Christmas… on Christmas day, I just want to wish everybody a safe and wonderful Happy Holidays! I hope, if you celebrate Christmas, that Santa was good to you all and brought you everything that you wanted!


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What Twilight Has Taught Readers

1. If a boy is aloof, stand-offish, ignores you or is just plain rude, it is because he is secretly in love with you — and you are the point of his existence.

2. Secrets are good — especially life-threatening ones.

3. It’s OK for a potential romantic interest to be dimwitted, violent and vengeful — as long as he has great abs.

4. If a boy tells you to stay away from him because he is dangerous and may even kill you, he must be the love of your life. You should stay with him since he will keep you safe forever.

5. If a boy leaves you, especially suddenly (while telling you he will never see you again), it is because he loves you so much he will suffer just to keep you safe.

6. When a boy leaves you, going into shock, losing all your friends and enduring night terrors are completely acceptable occurrences — as long as you keep your grades up.

7. It is extremely romantic to put yourself in dangerous situations in order to see your ex-boyfriend again. It’s even more romantic to remember the sound of his voice when he yelled at you.

8. Boys who leave you always come back.

9. Because they come back, you should hold out, waiting for them for months, even when completely acceptable and less-abusive alternative males present themselves.

10. Even though you have no intention of dating an alternative male who expresses interest in you, it is fine to string the young man along for months. Also, you should use him to fix things for you. Maybe he’ll even buy you something.

11. You should use said male to fix things because girls are incapable of anything mechanical or technical.

12. Lying to your parents is fine. Lying to your parents while you run away to save your suicidal boyfriend is an extremely good idea that shows your strength and maturity. Also, it is what you must do.

13. Car theft in the service of love is acceptable.

14. If the boy you are in love with causes you (even indirectly) to be so badly beaten you end up in the hospital, you should tell the doctors and your family that you “fell down the steps” because you are such a silly, clumsy girl. That false explanation always works well for abused women.

15. Men can be changed for the better if you sacrifice everything you are and devote yourself to their need for change.

16. Young women should make no effort to improve their social skills or emotional state. Instead, they should seek out potential mates that share their morose deficiencies and emotional illnesses.

17. Girls shouldn’t always read a book series just because everyone else has.

18. When writing a book series, it’s acceptable to lift seminal source material and bastardize it with tired, overwrought teenage angst.

19. When making or watching a major feature film, you should gleefully embrace the 20 minutes of plot it provides in between extended segments of vacant-eyed silence and self-indulgent, moaning banter.

20. Vampires — once among the great villains of literature and motion pictures — are no longer scary. In fact, they’re every bit as whiny, self-absorbed and impotent as any human being.

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Never, Ever Tell

No matter how much you are upset about something, no matter how hurt/mad you are, by all means keep it to yourself at all costs.

That is what I learned this weekend. I am going to be vague on details because of this very reason so forgive me if it doesn’t make any sense. Yesterday a person that I am/was friends with had a graduation party. Considering that I had known about this graduation party for close to two weeks, and have been very much set on attending said party since the day I was invited, the only thing I had to worry about was being healthy enough to go. On Thanksgiving weekend, I came down with kidney stones and let me tell you, they hurt like nothing I have ever experienced before in my entire life. Okay, so maybe I had experienced a pain almost as bad about 3 1/2 years ago around the same area but still. Okay back to the story.

The person that was having the graduation party told me a week ago that my former best friend was going to be at the event. I was fine with that, I mean, we hadn’t talked in close to three weeks and the last time we talked, I thought we had reached a mutual understanding that things were okay.

6pm rolls around and my phone beeps at me. It was a text message from this former best friend telling me not to go to this party. It was worded quite rudely and basically hurt my feelings a lot. I responded back saying that I was going. They kept responding in very angry/rude texts and I kept replying with “I’m sorry you feel this way, but I am going” texts. Needless to say, I was crying because this person used to mean the world to me, and was my best friend for seven years and it still hurts like no other that they go out of their way to hurt my feelings now, even though I have done nothing to them.

9pm comes and I take my taxi to the place where the party is going. My heart is pretty much racing and I am super nervous, I was fully expecting a full blown IBS attack as well as having to leave within a half hour of being there. Anyway, I get there and make my way over to the first familiar face I see. This person I wasn’t particularly close to but it was better then the alternative, which was go to the person who held the party, who was hanging out with my former best friend. I was so nervous, I was shaking, my eyes I guess were huge as saucers and I was very fidgety. The person that I was hanging out with asked me what was wrong. I told them that I was nervous because my former best friend was there and that hours earlier they had told me not to come because I wasn’t wanted at the event. The person didn’t understand what I meant, so I showed them the text. That was apparently the wrong thing to do and if I could take back anything it would be telling this person why I was nervous and the text message.

This said person apparently went and told a few people, including the person holding the event. I never told the person to confront the host. This was not my intention. I was just answering a simple question honestly, and that was the wrong thing to do. Over-all, the night was great. I had a lot of people compliment me on my appearance and I saw a lot of people that I knew, and the former best friend ignored me the whole night except near the end of the night when they gave me a brief smile. Which I find out today must have been a forced smile.

This morning I wake up to a few text messages telling me basically my wrong doings. I drove a lot of people away with one simple mistake and nobody accepts my apology. I feel awful and I am so upset because this all started over a stupid text that my former best friend text me. I don’t know why it bothered me so much, maybe because this person used to actually want me around and cared about me. To find that they didn’t even want me in the same building hurt so much, more then it should have. I hate that my former best friend and I are at this place we are at because we were so close and they were like family to me. I wish I had a time machine, that is for sure.

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Happy Halloween

The one thing I like about Halloween is that you can dress up however you want and everything is still okay. I dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood and apparently my outfit was rather cute because I had a lot of compliments. However, the shoe choice was such a bad idea. I had a pair of black stilettos on that had a 4 1/2″ heel. It was fine until around 11pm, when the shoes decided that they were no longer meant for walking. I could stand just fine but the moving part was not going well. I don’t know how I didn’t break my ankle (though I did twist it pretty good before I was drunk). Maybe thats why it feels like I pulled a muscle in my calf on that leg this morning? Right now, my toes are all tingly and feel weird. Oh man, I will never wear sexy heels downtown again unless a chair is involved haha.

Anyway, back to my story. We got to Brothers around 9pm and it was so dead in there! I thought this was a good thing because that meant it wouldn’t be very busy later. Wow, I was wrong! Of course, at the end of the night we had to venture to the most popular bars and become sardines. Again, I do not know how I do not have a broken ankle. At one point I had to use the bathroom and there was a wall of people like 5 deep in front of the hallway that lead to the bathroom, and they were not in line. So I was like “are you serious, I just want to go to the damn bathroom!” so this one girl grabs my arm and SHOVES ME through the wall of people. Like I said, I should have more battle wounds then I do. Getting out was no fun either.

There was a huge group of army guys visiting the bars and of course the girl that I came with beelined to them. The ones that seemed normal stayed at Brothers, the others decided to come with us. I wish the group would have been reversed with the normal ones coming with us and the manwhores staying behind. I am obviously not ready for a new boyfriend or even dating because a few tried dancing with me and I was so repulsed. So, I stayed pretty much glued to another one of the girl’s that came with us’s husband the whole time so that nobody would grab me and pull me back onto the dance floor.

Of course, the end of the night was pretty much the crappiest part of the night. I didn’t even know it was possible for shoes to cause that much pain by that time and I just wanted to sit down. So.. where do we go? A dance club type bar. Really? Oh and to make it even better, my ex of one month, texts me with “you should see my gf”. I just stood there looking at the phone, and like all sound sort of muted and I walked up to the girl I was out with with my phone outstretched and was like “fucking read this!” and she did, and yea. Night was completely ruined from there on out. Of course he texts me this morning asking if I got laid and pretty much telling me how awesome his night was, to put it mildly.

*sigh* What happened to the guy that was my best friend for 6 years? Where did he go? Ya know, the one who promised to never hurt me again and the one who made me promise, a week before he dumped me, that I would marry him someday while confessing how much he loved me. Where is THAT guy?!

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Sick and Tired…


The last eight days have been absolutely miserable! Last Friday, I laid down to take a nap and woke up with a very sore throat, which then progressed to sore throat and fever, and then sore throat, fever, headache and chills. I slept very poorly that night and the next day wasn’t much better. I proceeded to lose my voice around Tuesday, and went to the doctor on Thursday just to find that I had the pseudoinfluenza which means that I had all the symptoms of the flu but not as sick. I am still coughing non stop and I hate it! The doctor said I could be coughing for three weeks (UGH!). My voice is coming back though, thank goodness! It was really hard to NOT talk haha. You never realize how important a voice is until you don’t have one. So thats about all thats exciting on that note…

I have so many projects due Monday that tomorrow is going to really suck cus I procrastinate! And then, not only do I have to present something, I also have to work 2:30-9pm. Meaning I am going to miss One Tree Hill. I am pretty sure life hates me right now or something. So sad.

Um, lets see… if anybody knows me, they know that I have the patience of… well… I don’t have any patience. So, I text my whatever-he-is today with “Are you ever going to talk to me?” and silence was the return. So I am sitting in my bed reading and thinking about why he didn’t text me, and in my head I scream “damnit G freaking text me already!” with the most utmost force that you can utter in your head… and “BEEP” my received a text goes off a second later, and it was from him. Know what it says? “I have nothing to say…” thanks. Really, nothing to say at all? I hate that. Thats what he told Jenna when she asked him the same question, at least hes consistent. I want him to talk to me. I miss him so much 🙁 I hate that I can’t even share with him the good things in my life, or the bad things, the funny things, etc. Hes the first person I think of when something happens and it kills me that he wont talk to me. I miss him so so so much. It hurts, that’s how bad I miss him.

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