So Close!

I graduate in 19 days!

I am very excited to finally graduate, but still a bit sad that all my friends are all of a sudden going to be scattered around the midwest. I haven’t even started thinking about where I am going to apply for a job at. Its a bit daunting! I mean.. picking up and moving to who knows where, unless I find a job thats in this area. That is a wee bit scary! I don’t even know how confident I feel in my graphic design abilities so that doesn’t help much either. I always wanted to go into advertising but ya know, I just.. I don’t know. Advertising class, itself, is by far not my favorite class. It sucks so, it  has put a slight damper on what I want to do when I graduate!

Hmm, lets see.. what else. I guess there really isn’t much going on with me. Nothing on the relationship end, nothing exciting on my current job end. Just sort of floating along waiting for something to catch my eye I guess. My issue with the relationship front is that I like to be friends with people before I date them, and for good reason! I tried dating somebody who wasn’t my friend first, before, and ugh what a disaster. Refuse to do THAT again haha. I guess I will just wait until Mr Right comes along and sweeps me off my feet. I hope he hurries up because this girly is rather impatient.

But yea, thats just a quick update of my life right now. Fun stuff.

Popularity: 6% [?]

April 26, 2010  Leave a comment

Right Person, Wrong Time

I don’t know why this happens or what-not, but I always meet these really nice guys at the wrong time. Lemme tell you about my latest “Right Person, Wrong Time”. Had this been a normal situation, where I had just run into this guy at the bar, etc. I would not have given him a second glance. By first impression, he is not my type. However, in January, one of my friends who is also mutual friends with him, decided to tell me that this guy and I would make a great couple. I didn’t believe her. But this guy was in one of my classes and I decided that it was worth at least talking to him and thats what I did.

I have never fallen for somebody so fast before in my entire life. Even my ex, when we first started talking it took me 5 months to even give him a chance. However, this guy, he would send me an IM or whatever, and I’d be glowing. Just talking to him put a huge smile on my face. He was super sweet, funny and so easy to talk to. Basically, he made me very happy.

However, both of us are graduating in May and he plans on jetting off across the world. It sucks how much I like this guy and I dont even get a chance with him. It doesnt help that he still wants his ex and doesn’t seem to keen on giving up on her anytime soon. So, here I lay I guess. I am very upset, like I am trying to just like him on a friend level and it hurts. Its so not fair that I meet a guy like this who I know would make me so freaking happy, yet nothing is going to happen between us because he doesnt even want to give me a chance.

Nice girls always finish last, I guess and in this case.. its true.

Popularity: 6% [?]

April 13, 2010  Leave a comment

Stuck.. In.. My… Head

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April 6, 2010  Leave a comment

Color Personality Test

Name: Nena
Date: 2/27/2010
Colorgenics Number: 14752360

You are seeking an affectionate relationship, offering fulfilment and happiness. You are capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Deep down, you are a kind loving person, always helpful and willing to adapt yourself if necessary to realise the bond of affection that you desire. But you need the same consideration and understanding from others and it is this need that will sometimes hold you back… so let go, trust and you may pleasantly surprised at what happens.

You don’t feel as if you can go it on your own anymore. You don’t want to be taken for granted. You need to be recognised as a ‘caring person’ and it could be that you are searching to establish a relationship, not necessarily with someone new, but with that someone special who could feel the same way as you do.

You are not an argumentative sort of person and ‘rather than fight – you’d switch’ (an old cigarette ad cliche). But when you try to assert yourself – as sometimes you may try to do – you meet with so much resistance and effrontery that manifests itself so obviously that you become hurt, indignant and resentful. So in order to have peace and quiet you tend to become inhibited. You keep it all to yourself but deep down, you ‘feel’ and ‘hurt’ a lot.

As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven’t been taking care of all your physical needs and it’s beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate – someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different – to be individualistic – to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow – to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.

You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalise but you need to realise a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire.

Popularity: 6% [?]

February 28, 2010  Leave a comment

What a big let down

One thing that I always try to avoid is falling for somebody. I hate crushes. However, because I had been pretty much in love with the same guy since 2003, I hadn’t really had a crush in a long time. That was fine by me. I don’t know how to read signs that a person likes you, so therefore, I either assume somebody likes me and get all disturbed because I don’t feel the same, or I fall for the person who I think likes me. I have never had a successful “crush” on anybody, where I liked them and then they liked me. My ex doesn’t count because we pretty much started dating from day one. The last major crush I had, was on a guy my freshman year of college and by the time that told him about it, it was to late. After that I vowed to never have a crush on anybody again. It worked for the longest time… until now.

I don’t know when I started liking this person really. I tried to remember when this “crush” happened and I can’t pinpoint an exact moment that I realized that this guy could make or break my day. How long have I known him? Oh, for about 2 years. I think early 2008 was when I first met this guy and ironically, when he first came into the picture, all the girls who saw him were fawning over him, and I thought they were being silly. Even the older ladies that knew him were all excited when he would come in dressed in a tighter shirt or anything like that. I just rolled my eyes and told them that they were being dumb. I can’t even recall if I saw him a lot back then because I honestly didn’t pay attention.

And then early November, something seemed to happen because all of a sudden I started paying attention to him. I realized that he made me laugh and that he was a really nice guy. We had a blast joking around all the time, and I noticed that I started actually caring about my appearance around him when before I hadn’t. Did I know that I liked him? Not really. I just wanted attention, male attention. I missed having a guy notice me or pay attention to me, and here was a guy who was doing both of those and one that I actually felt comfortable with. We talked quite a bit and the more I learned, the more I liked. And then January rolled around, and I realized that I had completely fallen for this guy and to my surprise, I thought he liked me too! Actually, I admit that at first I thought he hated me. He would be quite a jerk, blow me off completely, etc. and then he went back to being really flirty and nice. I was 100% positive that he liked me. I was ready to bank on it and I was so happy! After yesterday with the eye contact, him watching me, the convo, etc. I was convinced that it was just a short matter of time before the next step.

However, today all that hope went crashing to the ground. All the ways he was “flirting” with me, he was doing it with somebody else. All the signs that I took as him liking me, he threw at somebody else. As the time ticked on, my heart just fell more and more, and I realized that I was wrong. This guy that I really liked, didn’t like me back. It was just me getting my hopes up. I could feel myself getting angrier and angrier, not at him, but at me. Mad at myself for thinking that this guy liked me. I won’t see him again for a week so maybe by then I’ll be over it but man, I really liked him. And that is rare because I am super picky when it comes to guys, and the fact that this guy sparked my interest… I dunno. What a let down.

Popularity: 6% [?]

February 6, 2010  Leave a comment

Terrible Thursday

Today was one of those days that I should have stayed in bed. All day. There was not a single moment that I did not regret getting out of my bed!

First off, I just got super annoyed in my 8am class. I am in my last semester and you have to present a senior review at the end of the semester so one of our big projects in my class is a poster for this event. Awesome, right? Well yea, until the specifics got mentioned and it seems that instead of focusing on the senior class, its going to focus on the brand new conference center that the school built (where the thing is being held). So the poster has to include this building in there or a reference to the grand opening. I am just so irked, this is supposed to be about US, not THEM. The more he talked, the more pissed off I became. I could feel the steam rising inside me. I am super surprised I didn’t explode.

Second off, I went to work at 3pm and I got thrown on meat and backline. Did I mention, ever, that I hate that position? I knew within 5 minutes that work was going to suck, and it did. I just cannot stand this spot because it makes me feel like I am not an asset anywhere in the store and usually the dumb and incompetent get thrown in that area. I don’t care if the person there was done at 3 and I was the only person starting at 3. Do. Not. Care. haha Move somebody else Meh. Okay so, then 5pm rolls around and my former favorite manager starts working and wow, have you ever been around somebody and the vibe is just so uncomfortable that you just feel very ackward and cannot perform at your best? Yea. I am sure if vibe’s could kill, I’d have been evaporated. I am pretty sure he hates me now because I have not felt this vibe with anybody outside of the old first assistant who also hated me. I wish I knew what his problem is but last time I got all frusterated and yelled out, “Hey you (not really you, but his name), do you hate me?” of course he acted all shocked that I thought that but hey, if the pants fit…

Third, it started raining about 4pm. Its January. In Wisconsin. 1+1+1 = ICE. I was so afraid that when I got done at 7pm, my car was going to be in an ice cube, but it wasn’t. There were a few slippery spots on my apartment road, but otherwise the roads were fine. What wasn’t fine was the ice rink that we like to call the parking lot/sidewalks. I was walking like a 115 year old lady, taking itty bitty steps, when all of a sudden without any warning, my feet flew out from under me. I swear it happened in slow motion, but I closed my eyes and my arm behind me to catch me and BAMB. Oh my gosh, it hurt so bad. My right wrist feels sort of ouchy and I am pretty sure I bruised my butt. For a moment I thought I broke my wrist because my right arm was throbbing terribly when I got up. I just wanted to sit there and cry for 30 minutes or so but my pride was already damaged enough.

Fourth, the Breaking Benjamin/Three Days Grace concert was tonight. AND I MISSED IT. And Shinedown is coming around here in two weeks and nobody wants to go with me. My life is so full of fail. It also is pretty sad that 95% of the people I talk to don’t even know who Shinedown/Breaking Benjamin/TDG are. Oh woe is me.

Popularity: 11% [?]

January 22, 2010  Leave a comment

Final Semester!

Tomorrow is the first day of my last semester in school. I can start getting teary eyed now right? Actually, I am not sad at all. I feel like I have been in school forever, and I have. If only I had stayed in graphic design in the first place, I would have been done already and maybe would not be living in a 300sq foot studio apartment? Maybe.

I need to make myself a big noticeable sign above my computer monitor that says, “NENA, DO YOUR SOCIOLOGY!” because I know I am going to forget and that will not be good. I am taking it online and I already have the syllibus, so all I have to do really is make a chart that says when the quizzes are and the papers are due, and post them where I can see them. This is the only class I am nervous about. I do not do well in classes that require textbook reading, which is really funny considering that a long time ago I wanted to be a doctor, vet, psychologist and go into business marketing.

Do I ever regret not going in any of those fields? Sometimes. I wanted to be in a career where I could help people, but I get easily distracted and it was really hard for me to focus in class. I don’t know why but I really can’t concentrate very well, and then I just zone out and get annoyed when I have to sit in a classroom listening to people drone on and one for more then a few minutes. This is also why I took Sociology online, I don’t have to sit in a lecture! My brain is weird, I admit it. Oh well…

Popularity: 11% [?]

January 17, 2010  Leave a comment

2010, you are doing it right!

That is all.

I get to stay in my apartment AND take all my classes this semester. I am so happy! 2010, I forgive you for your hiccup

Popularity: 7% [?]

January 12, 2010  Leave a comment